Top knot of my heavily oiled hair

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Tight oiled braids for concentration in studies - Meera's Story

My name is Seema

So I am married for almost 2 years now and live with my husband In laws and Sister in law.
She is in class 8th. Her name is meera.

When I first got married I observed that she has beautiful hair. However she just din oil them regularly.
My mil is also not strict about it as meera just did not listen.
She used to oil her hair on weekends and throughout he week it was regular light oiling or sometimes no oil at all. Also in her school for high school kids there no compulsory braiding.

She is good at her studies but I noticed how she plays with her hair 100times while studying.

I believe that a school girl or any student should be well disciplined and especially have oiled and neat hair.

She loved fashion and I dnt think this is her age to do so especially at the time of studying.

I spoke to my MIL about this and she agreed with me and asked me to take the responsibility.

Initially meera din agree with me And back answered so I had to be very strict with her. I once or twice pulled her ears also. She eventually realized I am very strict and she has to listen to me.

So now I oil her hair regularly and heavily. But never till it drips. I think even driping oil can be irritating and messy. I just make sure all her hair is well oiled. I then just check for lice as she is a school going girl and may catch it in class. However m glad she has not faced lice problem so far.
Then I Comb the hair well and then I make two parts of her hair with sometimes centre and sometimes side partition. Then I make 2 tight braids of her hair and i also use a ribbon to tie them up and make a bow. I don't like the braid to be hanging and she sit and plays with them whole day. As she has long hair I have to fold them up.

And I totally agree with all the moms who oil their kids hair everyday with two folded braids.

I plan to continue doing this to Meera till she finishes her education.

Also I let her wash her hair on weekends and dnt apply oil on Sunday. It's her holiday and she can do whatever hairstyle she likes. But on Monday again she had to compulsory go back to properly oiled hair and two braids.

This is the routine I follow with her.
Everyday I wake her up for college a little early Coz we spend good time in taking care Of her hair. and she takes bath and does her daily morning jobs like cleaning her bed,packing bags and then we eat breakfast.

After that I make her sit on a low stool and I sit on sofa or bed.
I use parachute coconut oil for her.
I use a good amount of oil and massage it and comb her hair properly. I then check for live but luckily she doesn't have that problem.
Then I ensure all her hair is properly oiled and then I make two partitions of her hair. Then I make a tight braid in in side near her ear and braid it till the end and then use a black ribbon to fold it tie it near her ear.
Then I similarly make another braid in the other side.

I am Tamil man - Why I sport hair like a Sikh?

Why I sport my hair in a bun on top of my head. I work in a office and this hairstyle is very convinient to hold long hair. I wrap cloth on my hair in cloth like Sikh boy. So it protects hair from dust and pollution.
When my hair length was upto shoulder, I used to sport them in a ponytail or a bun. But the bun size is very large and if I sport braid, it crosses my mid back. Long CHOTI.
Also, I respect Sikh Religion a lot! I wish I would have taken birth as a Sikh, so I could have grown hair since my childhood and entire family would be sporting long hair irrespective of gender and it would have been fun indeed to oil and comb each others hair.
It's a great respect to god the almighty. "Wahe Guru"
Probably my deep respect for Sikh relligion has bestowed upon me a Sikh friend.
I style like a woman. I do it while at home.
So my long hair gives me an opportunity to be like a man and a woman. I am indeed thankful to god the almighty for my long hair.

My Sikh friend - Japtej Kaur encourages me to be like a Sikh man

Last 2 months, I had abnormal hair growth and now my hair touch waist. Almost 5 centimetre growth in 2 months.
My Sikh friend Japtej Kaur is in regular touch and she encourages me to be like a Sikh man all the time.
But my mother wants me to be like a girl at least at home.
Today, being Sunday, I washed hair with shampoo and conditioned it.
Mother asked me to shave.
So, I got to know about her intentions. After drying hair, she grabbed Parachute coconut oil bottle and asked me to sit on floor. She poured handful of oil on my scalp and started patting on scalp. Then she evenly applied oil on my head and then on strands. Each hair strand was coated with coconut oil. Then she took a fine-tooth comb and brushed my hair backword. She was combing with gentle strokes. I stood and she was standing behind me neatly combing hair. Finally, she started making braid. She made a nice tight braid of hair. She asked me to wear my sister’s clothes. I sported Salwar Khamis and applied bindi on my forehead. Mother was very happy to see me in a woman's attire. Whole day, I lived like a girl.
In the evening, Japtej Kaur called me and asked me if we can meet. So, I had to change my attire. I sported my normal man's cloths and I thought I will sport hair like a Sikh man. So, I opened my braid and combed hair forward and made a tight bun of hair on top of my head and then sported a patka. My mother was unhappy. She doesn't like a Tamil family boy becoming Sikh.
I met Japtej Kaur in the garden. She had sported a braided bun of her beautiful hair, well oiled. I smelled her hair she had applied Dabur Amla hair oil.
I shared with her my dilemma of living dual personality. She laughed and said, it’s good that you have long hair like girls so that you can fulfil wish of both mother and girlfriend.

I want to sport hair like Sikh man but mother insists on briad

I am posting after 11 days. After my date with Japtej Kaur on 5th Feb 18; I went home and I was sad to find my mother upset with my attire of Sikh man.

She is suggesting me to sport hair bun at least like a woman at nape and not on top of head like a Sikh man.

I am trying to convince her that hair bun on top of head is a convenient hairdo for me because I go to office and I can cover hair under my patka

Also, my hairdo resembles Lord Shiva. I have taken vow not to cut hair for spiritual reasons.

So, let me be myself.

But mothers being mothers very kind at heart and too much attached, don't get convinced.

She kept on telling that I miss my daughter and when you sort hair like a woman, I don't miss her.

She removed patka from my head and opened topknot. My waist length hair cascaded straight from head on my face.

Mother observed that patka cloth has soaked all hair oil which she applied in the morning.

She wanted to oil my hair again and make a nice braid.

So, again she applied hair oil and brushed back my hair and neatly combed them. Then she tied hair in a nice braid (Choti)

She made 28 knots in braid. 27 knots are 28 lunar mansions(Nakshatras)as per Hindu mythology. 28 knots of a braid bring good luck.

After making braid, she was satisfied and she told me not to open braid anymore.

Next day morning, I sported a braided bun of hair and went to office. Mother is happy.

Boss is not happy. He suggested, you better sport patka like a Sikh man. I asked him to excuse me for the day.

Next day I carried patka cloth with me to office and sported patka in men's change room.

But when I go home and open my waist length hair and look in mirror, I get immense pleasure. It's an investment. With regular oiling and taking care, I got wonderful hair. It's god's gift. I can manage challenges associated to it.

A Sikh Girl curious about my long hair - Visit to Sikh family

I have 3 women in my life who appreciate my long hair and encourage me to grow them long and strong. They take care of my hair through hair oiling, head massage and helping me to sport in different styles. First are my elder sister Uma, my mother Laxmi and my cousin Savita.

Now, there is one more addition to this group of women, a young Sikh girl Japtej Kaur whom I met in bus and she was curious about my long hair. We decided to meet. Today being weekly off, we decided to meet at Japtej Kaur’ s home.

Since I met her, I stopped shaving and allowed facial hair to grow and I have been coiling my hair on top of my head like a Sikh boy in my home also.

My mother was upset with me as she wants me to be like her daughter at home wearing Uma's clothes, sporting hair like a woman and clean shaven.

Mother asked me, Why you are living like a Sikh man? I gave lame excuse.

Today morning, I again rolled my hair on top of head in a topknot and wrapped them in patka as sported by Sikh boys.

I went to Japtej Kaur’ s home. When I entered her house, I found two pretty girls with hair reaching their buttockss. I recognized Japtej Kaur the other one was her young brother with equally long hair. His name is Satvir Singh.

His mother entered in the drawing room. She was sporting her thick long hair in a nicely oiled braid.

Her father works in India Army and currently posted in Assam.

Japtej Kaur introduced me to her mother and younger brother. Her mother was so happy to see a Sikh boy but Japtej Kaur clarified that he is not a Sikh man but a Tamil boy with long hair.

They insisted me to remove my patka and show them my long hair.

So, I opened my topknot and let my long hair loose. With strokes of hand, I made them straight and brushed back.

My hair length is crossing my mid back. All of them appreciated my hair length and quality of hair.

Mother appreciated my vow, not to cut hair and encouraged me.

Since, Japtej Kaur and Satvir Singh have washed their hair, aunty wanted to oil and comb their hair. She asked me to watch their hair oiling

She brought a bottle of Sesame oil. Sesame oil is popular in Punjab for hair oiling.

She began with Japtej Kaur. She poured handful of oil in palm and poured on her scalp. Then she massaged her head by tapping her palm over her head. Again she poured large quantity of oil in palm and started applying on her long hair. Her hair was neatly oiled. Then she brushed her hair backward and started combing neatly. She removed tangles and matted hair and preserved them as Hair is god’s gift for Sikhs so they don't throw it in garbage but in Holy River at their pilgrimage centre.

She started braiding her hair and what a beautiful, shiny tight braid crossing her buttocks. Amazing.

Then she asked her to prepare tea for us and called Satvir Singh.

She asked her to take his hair in front and combed them in reverse direction. She poured lots of hair oil and combed his hair from his neck in front direction. After combing, she started braiding in reversed direction and after his braid was done, she coiled his braid on top of his head.

It was my turn. Mother suggested me to sport hair like Satvir Singh and I also sported oiled braided bun.

We chatted over a cup of tea and then I signed out.

At home, mother smelled my hair and asked me which hair oil you applied, when I replied sesame oil she was not happy at all.

It's clash of culture. In south India its coconut oil preferred whereas in north its sesame oil

Mother asked me to wash it thoroughly so that I can get rid of it.

It's situation like "Two States" movie in our home.

Let's see.

 

 

Reminisces 1 : Childhood Hair Care - Nostalgia

Whenever  I see Sushmita Sen tossing her glorious mane while endorsing a brand of shampoo I am taken back to an era where letting hair  open  was a taboo  and shampoo, a mysterious commodity hardly found in shopping lists of India. It also brought back haunting memories of the travails of my thick long black hair which while evoking envious glances from people around while also hiding a painful story of grooming it.

My long hair had an ambitious guardian in my grandmother. The daily ritual started in the morning with my grandmother applying liberal amount of coconut oil followed by combing the hair with a wide teeth comb and then again with a fine teeth comb to remove nits or lice. Then a center parting was taken and two tight straight plaits were made which ended with black ribbons knotted tightly.The same ritual was repeated without fail in the evening after my return from school. Even a slight movement of my head during this ritual would get me a tight slap on my back.

She used to make a concoction of oils with hibiscus flowers and mehendi leaves  boiled on slow heat and then cooled and filtered. The strong smell of the oil meant that I received stern warnings from the school to not use such nauseatingly strong smelling hair oils in the future.

Sunday was the day I dreaded the most as it was the day for oil bath. Early morning I would find my grandmother wake me up and apply hot oil with cumin seeds and pepper on my hair.  After this, she would vent her anger on my innocent scalp, with heavy pounding and tapping in the name of massage followed by washing with Shikakai powder soaked in the starch of cooked rice.

The next process was of drying the hair. With no hair dryers at that time, my grandmother would burn charcoal pieces, with sambrani powder sprinkled on them, on a spatula with a bamboo basket  covering it where I had to spread my hair. Once that was done, the hair was combed back into tight plaits.

The customary oil bath was a traumatic experience leaving me with a throbbing headache. Once my hair was infested with lice and nits and when all the efforts of my grandmother failed, she took the extreme step of dousing my hair with a mixture of kerosene and gamaxin powder (both pesticides). While there were instant results for such an extreme step, it left me with an itching scalp with painful boils all over. We had to seek the advice of a doctor and it took some time before the condition of my scalp improved.

Now I look at my dull grey hair, looking forlorn. In these days when a simple hair treatment in a beauty parlour makes one poorer by a few thousands I marvel at my grandmother who gave me all those hair treatments for free!